Could have went further.
I actually liked the animation, art, and audio. What I didn't like is that it's a 5 second loop. You could have at least carried on the conversation or something. If you were to add more of a story element to this and more animation it would be a decent animation.
Meh, it was supposed to be longer but I was like fuck it.
You made an ad?
Great job on the graphics and animation, you definitely have talent. So why did you have to waste it making an ad for some other flash site? I liked everything about it except that it was a 'commercial' for another site. Not only that, it's a site you have to pay to be a member on.
Please never make another ad. The last thing Newgrounds needs is ad spamming.
Oh. I'm sorry guys. I didn't even consider that aspect of it. Would you guys like me to take it down? I in no way meant to spam; that's the last thing I was trying to do. I love Newgrounds with all my heart, and each site, I believe, is different and should be respected in its own regard. Newgrounds and OMGPOP are incomparable. But again, if this is offensive, i'll remove it immediately.
Almost there.
The movie was actually very funny, but a lot of if was mostly just text. It would have been cool if you got someone to read the script. That way you could have Jim fighting zombies and then the voice over would be like "no Jim, don't do that!" and you could have subtitles at the bottom. A lot more work then text and buttons but it'll be worth it in the end.
If you didn't want to go all out on this one then you could have at least added some audio! It's extremely easy to do. Go to the audio portal and find a song you like that you could play in the background. If you need help getting audio into flash look it up in a tutorial. Good luck with your future animations.
That would be better I agree, this was more of a testing flash around thing than an actual movie, I had fun making it for a while but I got bored and I want to move onto better things, getting a graphics tablet soon and I'm gonna start animating rather than writing text on a screen, it's quite bad I know but it was just a bit of fun.
Anyway thanks for the advice, mabye I'll come back to it in the future.
Thanks for the review man =).
Funny, but needs some polish.
The basic plot of the story is funny and so is the animation. Like when Seed needs to make all the money if 12 hours and you have that montage and he's doing stupid shit, it's pretty funny.
However, the audio is a little off. It sounds like it's low quality. Make sure you make the audio sound as crisp and clear as possible, especially for voices.
Another thing that sucked was that the subtitles was over your website name. It made it really hard to read. If you want people to visit your website add a link to it in the bottom corner or something. You also say the N word a lot. I hope you're black because if not that's pretty offensive. Maybe tone it down a bit?
Finally, you have two play buttons. One on the preloader, then when you press that it shows the episode title then another play button. Figure out a way to only have one.
haha n***aaa n***a n***aaaaaa, you think i chose to have sitty voices? nah, i just got a mic and no matter which one i get they all suck. So what the fuck am i gonna do? Spend $2,000 on an apple computer? I'm not seed you know. The Sub tites are clear so maybe you need glasses perhaps? Go to a doctor. But thanks for the review n***aa. Oh and for the n***a thing.. The seeds not white and KingPins a drug dealer, try telling one of them to watch there mouth, see how that goes. And about the play button is it to much to ask for you the click your mouse one more time??
Your feedback, sir
The animation was very smooth, and you're a better artist then me :P. The music fit with the whole theme of the animation too which is great.
Some things I didn't really like was that the animation jumped around a bit. Like at the start it's this monster dude burning then the whole background goes black suddenly and there's a red swirl.
Also, it didn't seem to have a story too it. It was just a bunch of animation. It would be better if you could somehow combine your animations to show a plot or something.
Finally, and I know it's hard for this type of animation, but some colour and an actual background could add to the animation.
Work on these points and you'll have a great animation on your hands.
Wow in depth review. Well thank you i will use your recommendations.
An amazing flash Lon, great work.
This was a great entertaining flash! The voice work was awesome, really made the flash what it is. The animation was also good with great lip syncing, and the audio was really fantastic too. Really an excellent movie all the way around.
However I have some things you could work on. Though the script had many funny references and jokes, a lot of them were very 'inside' and I could see lots of people missing them. I watched it the first time and found it hilarious so I sent it to my friend who didn't find it quite as funny since he needs to lurk moar. Also, a lot of the script is dry humor and it isn't really a 'laugh out loud' movie, it's entertaining, but it isn't comedy.
Another thing would be the time. It's a long movie, which I find fantastic, nowadays people don't have time to make 10 minute long movies, but that's probably because people don't have the time to watch 10 minute long movies. A movie maybe around 3-5 minutes in length packed with action and laughter would be just as good.
These are very minor issues to a majorly great animation. Fantastic work, worth the wait, but hopefully the next one isn't so far away =P.
P.S. Whoever made that bonus feature must be really handsom and inteligent. It added that 'je ne sais pas' to the movie.
As I've said before, I added so many references since it would be my last chance to. :P However I think that I did go overboard.
I don't see a 10-minute flash as a problem. People like the Nostalgia Critic can make videos 30 minutes long about one movie. However he does pump videos out every week.
You're right, whoever made the bonus for it must be incredibly attractive and smart and better than Nerd-02 at Smash Bros. However, the person who made the music for it is probably a dumbass.
cool but unoriginal.
This flash was really well done. Had awesome sound effects and the animation was pretty good. However it's not original at all. There are sooooooo many of these animations. If you're going to make one, maybe come up with a story? Just do something to make it original.
A random fighting animation with sprites of sonic are a dime a dozen. Make it more original.
well i m just testing things out then ill add in everything else
Wow.
I never thought I'd see a first flash that was good! It had audio, good animation, and some humor. It was a good movie. The white bg could have been made a little more interesting though. Anything really. Another improvement could be maybe some kind of story line. The random things were funny, but you can be random and have a story line. Like all the "awesome" flashes. Keep up the great flash work :)
Thanks man! And yeah I will definately be adding backgrounds, writing, and voices to my next flashes, I just need some hardware and (more importantly) time and cash to pull it all together. Who knows, maybe St. Nick will send a tablet my way.
Yo! Nerd here. I'm part of Orange Pylon a flash animation "company". My specialty is AS, I'm not that great at drawing. :P -- 15 year old me This profile is an archive of how sototallyrandumb XD of a teenager I was.
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Some job @ Loeb's :P
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Canada, eh
Joined on 7/30/06
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